Where I started — debt, divorce, and rebuilding
For most of my working life I made a low income. Until my current job, I had never made more than about $20 an hour. For several years before my divorce I was only working part time while also trying to build a small business and dealing with health issues that made consistency hard.
When I got divorced, it was sudden and it was expensive. I had never been divorced before. I learned as I went and that lack of knowledge cost a lot. It was an expensive lesson. I paid to find out what had been hidden from me, and yes, I would still say that in the end it was worth it.
At the moment of separation I had a maxed out credit card, about $97 in my checking account and no car. We had recently moved away from my friends and family for my spouse’s job.
Over the months that followed, I had to rely on government assistance and stay with friends and family while I tried to rebuild a basic financial footing and look for work. My husband had controlled almost all of our finances, so I also had to learn how to manage everything again from scratch. Rent, bills, accounts, decisions, all of it. I take accountability that I was a willing participant in this arrangement, but I just didn’t know then what I know now, like about how important it is to be in control of your finances.
Eventually there was a settlement. That settlement helped me restart my retirement savings, but it also came after I had already spent most of my own small retirement funds paying off debt and surviving the transition. For a long time I thought I was working toward financial independence in a shared plan. I was living modestly, tracking spending for over a decade, and assuming the direction was stable.
It wasn’t.
After using my retirement money to clear my debts, I made a decision: I never want to carry debt again.
Recently I took a new job across the country that allowed me to get back out on my own. Starting over has not been easy, but it has given me the opportunity to build a financial life that belongs entirely to me.
I am building now. I am unwilling to tie my financial life to someone else again. I still want to come out on top, on my own terms, and I am willing to make decisions that match that goal over a long timeline.
I am going to make my own damn dreams come true.
Resource Recommendation:
One of the first books I ever read on FIRE and one of the OG’s of the movement, Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin may not be as fun a read as some other FIRE books, but it’s a must-read if you are on this path like me.
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The information shared in The FIRE Freedom Project reflects my personal experience, opinions, and investment decisions. It is provided for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered financial, investment, tax, or legal advice. I am not a licensed financial professional. Always do your own research and consider consulting a qualified advisor before making financial decisions.
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